Breaking
by Rumour of an Alchemist
Summary: Alternate universe. One-shot. James Potter is in The Hog's Head, hoping that if he drinks enough fire whisky, maybe the sun won't come up the next morning. (James wasn't the Marauder who got the girl.) Rated 'M' just in case.


(minor Author Notes revision, 4th June, 2014)

Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

Note: The following one-shot is set in an alternate universe where James Potter didn't get his girl.

Euphemism Translation: 'bun in the oven' - pregnant

Rating: 'M' to be on the safe side.

* * *

It hurt James Potter to even think about it, but maybe for just once in his life Snivellus Snape had had a good idea. When _Snivellus_ had got wind of what was coming, Snivellus had departed the country within twenty four hours. Rumours of where he'd gone and what he had been since doing were many; the most common thought at the moment seemed to be that he'd gone to lose himself in a monastery in Tibet, to study and meditate upon the writings of ancient wizards kept by the Buddhist monks. James had sneered at that reaction at first, but as the weeks and months ticked by the ever-gnawing sensation of jealousy had been eating away at him, until now it was almost impossible for him to take pleasure in anything.

When it had first happened, he'd told himself that he'd be pleased for his old friend, and he had _tried_ for the first few days at any rate to be genuinely happy for him.

But then had come the wedding, and in the middle of it, the reality of what was happening had finally hit James like a sledgehammer blow. This was actually _going ahead_. He'd wanted to stand up in the middle of the service and shout out for it to be stopped at once, only of course Remus had looked so happy, and James had still had a lingering sense of loyalty to him, and when he'd tried to protest, he'd gone weak at the knees, and his tongue had locked up in his mouth, so he'd actually done nothing, whilst one of his best friends married the love of James' life.

It must have started whilst they were prefects together in fifth and sixth year, James supposed. All those late night walks together around the school. And then, though James had had a chance of a shot at Lily during their seventh year, when she'd been head-girl to his head-boy, she'd remained completely uninterested in him, always going on about how he ought to be more mature and grown up, and basically not appreciating that school was supposed to be there for you primarily to _have fun_. And _how_ James had had so much fun in that last year, finding ever newer and bigger and better ways to prank Snivellus and to make his life a living hell, whilst Lily nagged James to ease back on it – even though she clearly _hated_ old Snivellus' guts, and very few people in Hogwarts 'deserved it' more than Snivellus. Although towards the end of the year, James had found things starting to go wrong with some of his pranks, with them backfiring occasionally on him. Not that he _minded_ that, giving everyone a laugh at least, even though he'd have preferred who they were laughing at to be Snivellus, where it was even funnier because Snivellus _did_ care about losing his dignity, but some of the things which had happened… well, basically, he had to wonder now, if Moony – no doubt with Lily bending his ear – had taken to politely sabotaging him?

And then of course, they'd finished with Hogwarts, and within months, Moony had stabbed James in the back by going and getting engaged to Lily – despite the fact that Remus had _known_ through seven years of Hogwarts that James had been certain that Lily Evans was The One For Him. This was Moony, whom James had become an animagus for, and whom surely ought to have owed him some sort of loyalty, for standing by him on so many moonlit nights, and who certainly should not have gone and stolen James' girl.

But because James was a Gryffindor, not a dark wizard, he'd smiled and told Remus back then that he was happy for him, and that if Lily couldn't have James, then Remus was the next best bloke that she possibly _could_ have, and he'd tried to make light of it with some sort of ridiculous joke. And then Snivellus had heard, and he'd simply _gone_, apparently unable to bear the thought of even remaining in the same country as the future Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, and that had made things alright right up until the wedding, because James had been busy sniggering inwardly at Snivellus running away, just like the great big hook-nosed coward that he was, and not thinking about that _Moony was about to marry James' Lily_. And then of course, things had all come down on James in the middle of the ceremony, and he'd barely been able to stick out the reception, with Peter, as Remus' best man, standing up and making a stupid speech, and Lily looking so stupidly happy on the day that she was breaking James' heart and trampling all over the pieces.

James had tried to avoid them as much as possible since then. He was staying away from Order business, if he thought that there was a good chance of Remus and Lily being there. Albus had enquired on several occasions if James was fine, and in the end, James had told him something ridiculous and half-true about needing to get his head straight over the deaths of James' parents, and all the sorting out to be done, and Albus had nodded wisely, apparently taken in by it as he'd always been taken in by James' half-true stories, and said he understood, and that James should take all the time that he needed.

And now of course the inevitable news had reached James that Lily had a bun in the oven – that she was expecting a little Lupin, in six months time – which was the final straw for James, and was why he was here in 'The Hogs Head' in the early hours of the morning, hoping that if he drank enough fire whisky that maybe the sun would not come up.

* * *

Author Notes:

Whilst fanfictions where Lily marries James are plentiful, and ones where she marries (or has some other relationship) with Severus Snape aren't entirely rare, seldom have I come across one where she ends up with one of Sirius/Remus/Peter, and thought I'd take a stab at giving a glimpse from James' perspective into such a universe.

Regarding the point of divergence from canon of this universe, as far as I understand, in canon during his seventh year at Hogwarts James did at least attempt to pretend to be more mature when Lily is around (Harry Potter wiki at the time of posting of this note says he continued to 'secretly' hex at least one pupil, Severus Snape, though). In this universe he never bothered to make such an effort, and of the four Marauders it was Lily's fellow prefect of two years, Remus Lupin, who impressed her as being the most mature and charming. And then the Marauders and Lily are all thrown into the Order of the Phoenix, with a war on, and life-and-death situations, and basically Lily and Remus rush into matrimony.

Obviously Severus Snape didn't take the news that Lily had married the werewolf that once almost killed him very well – it was the final straw for him, and he basically turned his back on the entire war, wanting to simply get as far away from magical Britain and Mr. and Mrs. Lupin as possible.

For those interested in maybe taking this story and developing it themselves, it occurs to me that this could be a moment where either a Death Eater recruiter feigning to be (or genuinely) sympathetic taps James on the shoulder, or where Albus Dumbledore is interviewing for divination teachers in The Hog's Head and James overhears at least part of a prophecy being made...

As far as I'm concerned this is a one-shot though, posted in June 2014 as 'something different' after a recent writing onslaught on the Saint Potter universe.


End file.
